Congratulations.
There is something destructive about weddings.
It's an entire drama play.
Where there is a stage, there are characters, siblings - beautiful siblings dressed in shades of green and on other days in coral red; there is synchronised dancing.
There is a barbie and she sits on the sofa with her ken, underneath the yellow flowered setting. There is clamour and clatter, there are some more people under the facade of exotic variety of eye shadows and lip glosses.
There is something utterly decimating about them. If you look closely, beneath that make up, there are emotions. Indeed, hidden so well under the gaudy lighting. You might see and feel the muffled sadness.
To bid farewell to your sister, almost mother, is ridiculously desiccating.
I saw, what I didn't want to see, the separation in the Coral lachrymose Beauty's eyes; inadvertently witnessed it in one of the parent's eyes, while taking a photograph. If I had to stand even a second longer to take the right picture, the dam would've broken and the awful tranquility of not being strong enough would've echoed..
I know, when my most favourite family member was getting married off.
Hugging too tightly in a rush, everyone wants to hug them now that they are leaving. Desperately wanting to hug again and again, hoping endlessly, that the tears don't trickle down. That they don't see you break. But you do.
Hugging for a little time longer, because you don't want the moment to pass. But it does.
And when they are gone, you want someone to be there for you.
But when you turn, you see that the people who you call your best friends, weren't there. And the friend's who are, are just filling in a formality to stop you from crying.
You, in coral red are lucky to have them two. Who cry even before your eyes begin to wet.
Do you know what regret is like?
I do. I know it in shapes and colours that no one else would know off.
September 2008.
She's telling you to study, only for your good. You're heartless and mindless, yet you sit on a chair in front of your study desk, pretending. She comes to check on you, catches your disobedience, and yells at you this time.
Monstrous as you are, you write on paper, " I wish you would just leave."
She comes to check on you again,because she loves you, but her vision falls on the note that has been written.
You try to be righteous by telling a lie; but she's read it. Her heart wounded and gashed by your brutal words.
"When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That's what careless words do. They make people love you a little less."
Isn't that what it felt like? When you vividly saw the tears and the anger in her eyes. Turning around, leaving you with colossal amount of silence and her ache.
You can't undo things, like you can do in computers with a right click, that's why you live with them.
You apologised, but it wasn't the right click.
28th November, 2008
When she was leaving and you were striving for yet another hug, for just endless five more minutes - there was colossal silence; reliving the moment in your head, that you needed to forget.
Coral Dragonfly.
The night is over. Even God's Happiness was evident, did you forget to see the stunning streams of lightning in the sky. Did you forget to hear the pandemonium of the rain and thunder? I would've said, "there's no greater feeling on this earth than knowing your sister is happily married." But it's not entirely true, at least it wasn't in my case.
The real truth, without the sugar coating is that, it's never the same; but it's okay.
It is okay.
You're okay.
It's an entire drama play.
Where there is a stage, there are characters, siblings - beautiful siblings dressed in shades of green and on other days in coral red; there is synchronised dancing.
There is a barbie and she sits on the sofa with her ken, underneath the yellow flowered setting. There is clamour and clatter, there are some more people under the facade of exotic variety of eye shadows and lip glosses.
There is something utterly decimating about them. If you look closely, beneath that make up, there are emotions. Indeed, hidden so well under the gaudy lighting. You might see and feel the muffled sadness.
To bid farewell to your sister, almost mother, is ridiculously desiccating.
I saw, what I didn't want to see, the separation in the Coral lachrymose Beauty's eyes; inadvertently witnessed it in one of the parent's eyes, while taking a photograph. If I had to stand even a second longer to take the right picture, the dam would've broken and the awful tranquility of not being strong enough would've echoed..
I know, when my most favourite family member was getting married off.
Hugging too tightly in a rush, everyone wants to hug them now that they are leaving. Desperately wanting to hug again and again, hoping endlessly, that the tears don't trickle down. That they don't see you break. But you do.
Hugging for a little time longer, because you don't want the moment to pass. But it does.
And when they are gone, you want someone to be there for you.
But when you turn, you see that the people who you call your best friends, weren't there. And the friend's who are, are just filling in a formality to stop you from crying.
You, in coral red are lucky to have them two. Who cry even before your eyes begin to wet.
Do you know what regret is like?
I do. I know it in shapes and colours that no one else would know off.
September 2008.
She's telling you to study, only for your good. You're heartless and mindless, yet you sit on a chair in front of your study desk, pretending. She comes to check on you, catches your disobedience, and yells at you this time.
Monstrous as you are, you write on paper, " I wish you would just leave."
She comes to check on you again,because she loves you, but her vision falls on the note that has been written.
You try to be righteous by telling a lie; but she's read it. Her heart wounded and gashed by your brutal words.
"When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That's what careless words do. They make people love you a little less."
Isn't that what it felt like? When you vividly saw the tears and the anger in her eyes. Turning around, leaving you with colossal amount of silence and her ache.
You can't undo things, like you can do in computers with a right click, that's why you live with them.
You apologised, but it wasn't the right click.
28th November, 2008
When she was leaving and you were striving for yet another hug, for just endless five more minutes - there was colossal silence; reliving the moment in your head, that you needed to forget.
Coral Dragonfly.
The night is over. Even God's Happiness was evident, did you forget to see the stunning streams of lightning in the sky. Did you forget to hear the pandemonium of the rain and thunder? I would've said, "there's no greater feeling on this earth than knowing your sister is happily married." But it's not entirely true, at least it wasn't in my case.
The real truth, without the sugar coating is that, it's never the same; but it's okay.
It is okay.
You're okay.
Comments
And ek baat aur LOL i always forget what to comment, start mai kuch aur kehna tha phir beech main kuch aur aur end tak I was so lost in words that i totally forgot what to say about this one :p
P.s love this line : "When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That's what careless words do. They make people love you a little less."
Innocence? It's what you see, it's what you've known.
It's okay, I like what you say.
Don't miss me, I'm highly uncertain. You never know when I am or when I am not around.
fit hai! I am still in love with it....
Well mai itna bhi stupid nahi... I know what I see....
=)
It doesn't matter, I said i miss you, I never asked you to miss me :p Waisey bhi you know what uncertain people have the most value these days... trust me, they do!