Turnings that make Circles.

its time. the thing that ive been saying for so long. But I'm only human And I bleed when I fall down I'm only human And I crash and I break down Your words in my head, knives in my heart You build me up and then I fall apart 'Cause I'm only human I'm only human I'm only human Just a little human

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. And sometimes the state of being numb kicks in so strong, that you don't know what will make you happy.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Lately, I found solace in your company. I would just sit in your room because you always had something beneficial to teach, I always had something more to learn from you. Something in which I am lacking, I will always be lacking. Your words of wisdom always descending me into an awe. Being at peace in your company nearly became a habit.I am sad that you have to leave, I wish you didn't have to. 'Such is life,' was your reply to my sadness. And so it is. Thank you for being my best brother in the world. - For Ibn Yusuf.

Love. Made to destroy every bit of you. I can remember having a conversation where you said there wouldn't come a time where we would have to choose. You said, you would choose me. You said you'd never be like her, you have turned out to be exactly like her. You have broken me even more, I loved you most. Broken. You've slithered me and then sliced me, decimated to a million little pieces. I still sit here thinking if I meant anything at all. If you would still come back, I know you won't, yet thinking of it makes me mad. I want to hold by your shoulders and shake the obstinacy out of you. How could you have belittle me so much. How could you have shattered my confidence, even worse than it had been before. Look into my eyes and tell me, I don't mean anything to you. Sadly, you will and tell me that. Perhaps, I needed you to break me. Perhaps this crushing was much needed for my left over pride. My little self esteem cut into minus because I will still try a little...

Fuck friendship and relationships. They are all fucking overrated. Two broken fucking fingers. And not even the slightest show of care. Fuck you for pretending all this time that you ever cared.

... you could have prevented this.

Here I am in my favourite city in the world. feeling incomplete, here I was waiting for a signal that life would get better. It's about everything except my feelings; left out. I sit answering questions I don't have answers to, answers that I don't want to answer. This was supposed to be for you and me, but this is about you and that other person. I want to get lost in the streets that are bricked pavements with the headphones in my ear. I don't want to be found, I want to be part of the air that exists here, I want to be part of the life that stays awake all night and day. subways and trams, my meagre experience of a whole new place. Naked legs and wrapped arms. I want someone who would steal my breath, here, and gives me their's in exchange. This is where I want to be. Cut ties with the people I love, so I would love them no longer. They say that changing places doesn't change hearts; but I would tear my heart out and leave the weakness behind. Embrace the p...

We create scenes that don't really exist. Your absolute rejection towards me, makes me feel like you are almost in love with me. That's something that's "so far off from reality." I laughed because I knew what you would say, word by word; I didn't believe myself till it came from you. There was a moment of relief when I heard from you, I could not lie to myself even when I knew the truth. Thank you. The truth is always a little bitter, even when you know it. So you shut your eyes and swallow the grief, pack your bags and leave. This time, I shall never be around. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I heard you speak of how I need to have some self respect. I saw you ignore me when I told you I am not over you. You saw me cry and there was explosion of silence and when I repeated what I said, you said you heard me but chose to ignore me. Because you become a stranger when I say such things. My already hurting heart, cracked a little and tears of sadness wanted to stream down but my will to be happy for the moment, created a vacuum and the tears were sucked back in. I would do anything for you and just to be a disappointment for you makes me sad. I thought you would have wanted to see me, at least that is what it seemed like. When we said our good byes I cried a little, could you tell? What was it that you wanted to say. So I let you go, like I said on my previous post. This is time out to be happy. The doctor said I was depressed. I wondered if I am

You said you wanted to say hi. Without thinking twice, I replied, hey. That's how it began. No. The way things began was I saw a person in blue and fell in love. And the way it ended, it ended by me begging you not to leave. But you did anyway. Misdemeanours remain, nothing changes the past.  We met many times again, always afraid of being vulnerable to the other again; it didn't matter to me. I wanted to be vulnerable to you. This time that wasn't the case. This time, I let you go. I let you out from my head and my heart. ( I've been told by the lines on my hand that I can't think with only my head; heart and head go together.) A part of you would always have it, you were my first love, or maybe because you loved me the most.  This is before you said hi. Let's think about it. When you've burnt every single bridge, when you've cut out every link to a past with a person; then why do they come back or even think about it? Is there something else that the...

I expected many things from you. I expected many hurtful things from; you know me the best and you know exactly where it would hurt. I never thought you'd raise your hand to hit me. My reaction was to push you away, I didn't hit you back. I can swear to it, I didn't. If it did seem other wise, I'm sorry. You raise your voice, I'll raise mine. You raise your hand and I will push you away, I can barely protect myself. Love, this is not you and me. We are better than this. I know, trust me I know, our time is limited. Fuck this. You see I want to tell someone that we are losing grip and I am scared shitless that if you leave, I will have no one. The rest of the people in my life are temporary. They don't know when they plan to leave. But with you, I know that; wait let me correct that. I knew that we'd make it to some end. Some end of some year. Not end like this.We're best friends man, so what if you hit me. So what if I pushed you. We're not children...

There was a paragraph in this book we read and right before a paragraph my person wrote ' Dear M.' " My father once told me that a happy ending is just the place where you choose to stop telling the story. So this is where I choose to stop. More things are still going to happen, of course, some good, some bad. Some things never get any better. When people die, they stay dead. None of us know why we love, or why we stop loving, or why everyone we love we lose. " I thought of how limited our time is and it made me awfully sad. I know what its like to lose people and for you, I would go that extra mile. Just for you. You'll never know I wrote this, but I am so afraid of losing you. I am most frightened to lose you. It doesn't matter who else wants to stay or leave, because I have loved you the most. Someone once loved me the most but I have undeniably loved you most. I am also afraid of telling you this, because we don't really know why everyone we love we l...

Somethings are better left unsaid and i have said that a hundred times to myself and to others, but how many of us act on it? There's this uncharacterised kind of pain under the ribcage, but my heart still exists. where aare you best friend? I meed you the most at this time. but i cant talk to you. can you listen to me through your eyes. I know you were good at it. Please. I need you. Ashiyane ki baat karte ho, dil jalane ki baat karte ho Saari duniya ke ranj-o-gham de kar, muskuraane ki baat karte ho Muskuraane ki baat karte ho, Ashiyaane ki baat karte ho Khwab sa tha guzar gaya hoga Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com kiss ke jaane ki baat karte ho Hum ko apni khabar nahi jaanaan, tum zamane ki baat karte hoo Ashiyane ki baat karte ho, dil jalane ki baat karte ho

I wasn't there for you. I wasn't. I was there because your mother was there for me when I needed someone, anyone the most. I wasn't there for you. I was there to make sure that the dull, irreversible ache, can still be cured. It doesn't need you. But the mind needs to be occupied for you to be forgotten even if you sit in beautiful shades of blue. For once I was free. You call it infatuation I call it love You say black And I, say red Black defined as emptiness and hate Red, defined as love I say love, again You turn away and my red fades to black it feels as if someone is pricking me with needles my mind doesnt rest all my thoughts go back to you when you're not around my heart aches and i know theres something missing you are missing then you come my way and look at me with those beautiful eyes and i melt like ice in the hot sun the flowers are brighter the sky is happier and luck is on my side You keep me alive You keep me happ...

I don't know why, I don't know when. I know I just do. I don't know why I miss you. I don't know when I'll get over you. I just know that I love and despise you simultaneously. Not one existing without the other in any increase or decrease of intensity. I know I smile when I think of the good times. I  know that I frown when I think of what you did to me. And sometimes I think. That you miss your past when the present isn't as good and you're uncertain of your future. "tu bin bataye mujhey ley chal kahien jahan tu muskeraye, meri manzil waheen." But dragonflies and nightingales come for just some time in a year.

I love you but it's time I let you go. 

When you try to forget the dates and yet at the back of mind it lingers like your shadow that lurks in the dark. You know people and fall in love and then for some odd reason you need to let yourself go from that situation.  I used to be head over heels for you and I tripped so hard. I scraped my face and my tore my heart from my chest to wrap it and gift it to you. I still sometimes stumble when I look into your eyes. But now I know better that even if I see affection for me in your gleaming shiny eyes, I let go of all hope that it's ever in that sense. Cause I'm not anything but nothing. And all you are to me,now, is a piece of writing that you love, and wish that it was I who had written it.  But I've loved you all along, I choose to show you what you want to see. Not what I feel. I wanna see you as you are now Every single day that I am living Painted in flames, a peeling thunder Be the lightning in me that strikes relentless

Allah give me the patience to understand that I have never kept any kind of meaning in your life. Give me the understanding of being degraded and not being treated right. Allah please, give me some hope that I did mean something. Allah please make me realise that there is more than just desperately wanting to get high and drunk most of the time. Allah please love me, because i really need someone to love me. Allah pleasegivemetherighttosuicide. Allah give me the power to separate.I can't be treated like shit anymore.

It's the silence about loneliness that really catches you. It tortures and enhances the truth of being alone. Then the anger comes and you are swept away into some kind of self loathing for a long time. Till someone helps you out and you are back as soon as that someone leaves.  There is something peaceful about the recitation of the Quran. Some kind of hope. And then the realisation that this is all temporary. Cause we are just made of clay. Nothing but a kind of dirt. And the silence lurks back after a short break, resuming its tranquil deafening self. This is me. Care to save me from me?