Turnings that make Circles.

Most nights I am too scared. It hasn't happened yet but it will. It might. The might is enough to scare me. Most nights, almost all, I take a pill or two to sleep. Without them I am restless, anxious and the feeling of being scared is heightened. Most nights, I am afraid of taking a pill; what if something happens and I don't wake up. What if my retrograde amnesia makes me forget. He is sick. She can be sick. They both can be sick. I am scared. I am perpetually scared. I spend most of my time worrying than actually being there.. Do you understand how I feel? I guessed you wouldn't. Hi. I miss you. Where have you been? Will you be around, like you used to be when he was sick. We got through it together.. Don't worry I'm not expecting it. And just saying that makes me expect just a little. Hey. You do know.. I love you the most. Knowing you'll be gone, scares me. You are, and this goes without saying, are my person. I think I should be telling you that I am not f...

Strange lovers, strange love for old songs. Strange silence. Endless silence. Some how I never get over this song. So I will type all the lyrics. 'Cause I miss a little bit of you. 'Cause I miss a lot of this song and the memories attached to it. 'Cause when I am sad, I can only think of this song. Woh raastay ghum na hotay. Hum sehra na bahtaktay. in sadiyon ke safar mai us waqt jo ho tehr jatay. Hum tum se keh patay hum tum se keh patay hum tum se keh patay hum tum se keh patay kabhi tou milo ge kabhi tou kaho ge hum jo yun najatay Kash Tehr Jatay Kabhi tou milo ge kabhi tou kaho ge hum jo yun najatay kash tehr jataayyyy. Aaj bhi talash hai woh Rastay chalay thay jin pe. Is terhan kabhi yun saath saath hameesha uss safar mai. kuch tou tum keh jatay kuch tou tum keh jatay kuch tou tum keh jatay kuch tou tum keh jatay kabhi tou milo ge kabhi tou kaho ge hum jo yun najatay kash tehr jatay. kabhi tou milo ge kabhi tou kaho ge hum jo yun najatay kash tehr j...

What you say and what my mind hopes it would be, are never the same thing.If you could only be as sweet as I perceived you to be before, without hesitation, I would forgive you.  If you could only see underneath this exterior, you will see, a little or maybe more than just a little of me I'd dying. Counting each day and leading myself into a denial; cause the ache is going to be evident sometime.  If you could only be there without me begging for it.