Turnings that make Circles.

The darkness has finally clasped us under its cloak of coldness. Words said and regretted, words said and meant. The darkness never unfolding, just gaping deeper into every small break of the epithelium. Push till there is nothing else but rebound. And when there is no rebounding, a flat line like no heart beat suggests that there is nothing more than just remnants. Or a body that needs to be put into the ground. Remnants that could grow, but probably won't. Remnants that would grow but would only cause further destruction.Or there could be nothing left. You leave the body into the soil and remember what was. ' Nothing lasts forever.' To sit down and fight for remnants to grow, that won't happen. Things regenerate when they have the ability, but you author, only have the ability to nurture from others and destroy them. 'All along theres only one thing common in all scenarios One person different people. Always one person remains the same' Whose fault is it...

I heard your voice, I think, the first thought that I thought was, wait you haven't hung up on me as yet. Charming strangeness of it all. Do you know, that this is the end? That after this, I have no right on you. Our four years of each other's company has ended. I haven't studied and neither am I able to. I make myself little sticky notes to give an initial boost to make myself study; fail. I have tried everything. And here I am, my best friend. Talking to you. You see, I have realised, that I gave you that because it felt more of an ending gift more than anything else. I don't think I will know you any longer. Your level of insensitivity combined with my naturally increasing ego ( after its fall) isn't going to make you and me last. So to the best friend who is other than just a laptop or a phone. I will tell you what's devouring me from the inside. Actually I won't. It's because I don't exactly know what it really is. Multiple things coal...

Going Going.. Gone. 

Today was the last day. The time is up and the counting of hours and school days to spend together have ended. The times spent in travelling and the times spent. We all eventually fade, no matter how much you keep in touch. But that's life. A part of life that you want to keep on forgetting but nothing lasts forever. Not even friends or life. I am tired of covering every step of my sadness with dirt. Can you heal me? I don't want to tell you how sad I am because I am sick of being the one who is always sad. He said I should get my act together and so did she. I can't listen to what I don't hear. If I am too busy thinking I am okay, how will I ever know the truth. No one ever said it was easy.

Don't leave me.  Otherwise there'll be no difference between you and the ones before you.  I don't love you like that. I don't think you realise that. I don't have the will to love you like that anymore. After all, there has been too much said and done to leave me making me feel like that for you.  Even though if I could, I would, turn back time and takes those things away.  I have loved you like no other. To fight for us to be friends. And every time there is something you bring that up. That only that much time is left. If you want to leave, then just do it. Don't make me suffer the later.  Please don't leave me.  Please. You're my Person. 

This is what the silence does to you. It crawls under your skin, let's people open up and tell you things that you might have never thought of discussing. Gives room to allow them to speak of how happy they are and will be with someone else. And how most of their future plans don't even include you. You who thought they were in love with you. And would be part of your life forever in an entire different sense. But there is no forever. You are not part of their future plans. You really never were. So pick yourself up and count the things that need to be taken. Start your walk, continue it till there is nothing to look back at. Not even the faint blurred outline of what you knew. Walk so far off that there is no way of going back. Even if, even if you want to. Look right into my eyes, and tell me what you see because those feelings are unspoken. Sad, eyes could never speak. And if You wish for me to speak what my eyes portray, I can't. It will send us off on a distance so...

It's not realisation. But it's eventuality that slithers a person. Don't you think they realised it long ago. But because she didn't believe in the end, didn't mean it wasn't going to happen. It's like you know how we'll all die, but you never believe you're dying. So what happens next. Prepare for it or pretend it won't happen. Step up to face facts or just sit and act. You see these words are real And they are mine. I realise whats happenin but the will to make an effort, to change has been murdered. When will the urge to be the best for you die. When will you believe that this competition is a lost cause. Ha. And then they say you don't try. You don't try for a lost cause. You let yourself slip this one. You'll never be that person. You'll never be loved like that. You'll never win.

Can I please have a little more meaning in your life? Please.

I thought. If not today, then maybe next year. And if not next year, then maybe the year after that. But you don't love me at all. Can you atleast pretend that you loved me once, because all of this now, makes me feel like it was all a lie.

"The idea we can control our fate is an illusion"   Magnified intensity of insanity is all what I saw, when I gazed into your eyes. The words that left your beautiful mouth, a mouth all that I could imagine was kissing; jolted, smashed submerged me into the ground way past the bones of the dead and left me knowing of the sin that I had committed. Being way into the ground in pieces is one thing but what if you're shrouded by disbelievement.  The words that were uttered; there could have never been more unloving. There's no hatred,but there's no love. You're beautiful eyes said it all. Most of the time its just a fragment of thought but feeling the words that were escaped, turned delusion to a reality and setted as an abysmal vacany in my eyes. You can't say you didn't expect this; you did.  Unfortunately, you miscalculated the amount of devastation that it would cause, after all theres always a little more damage when you interfere with the "...