30th June.
My serenity, you don't want to listen to my bull shit and knowing that particular fact, I still talk to you, isn't that just fucking pathetic?
I know, I am pathetic and that disgusts me even more. I loathe myself more, each day.
Why can't you fucking say, you don't want my crap. You don't love me, you don't have to listen to me. You're not my mother.
I know everything there is to know about you, I know things about you that you don't even know, I know. But you don't know me. Even if I would look into yours eyes, screaming everything there is about to know about me, you wouldn't know me. I want to write to you, and somehow I wish it would mean something to you, of all the things that have happened, of all the things that never changed.
If I ever muster up the courage of going so far away from you, that you would long to hear my voice, long to hear of me from someone, anyone.
But you see, it's what my heart has made my mind create this illusion of you missing me. You won't miss me. You won't long to hear my voice, you don't want to listen to me, how is it possible that you would want to hear of me?
I know that if either happens ( you leave or I), you won't yearn for me even a single day. You would live without me, just like another day; but on the flip side, I would go insane, I would suicide and die.
My gorgeous, don't undermine yourself. You're stronger than ever, you're smarter than you could've ever realised.
There's a caterpillar made on paper, stuck on my study desk glass window, she gave it to me. It says,'good luck Michelle.' I keep looking at it, knowing it won't, yet wondering if it'll ever grow into a butterfly.
The African Rain Dancers, dance till it rains; they don't dance for it to rain. Just like, if you don't say something, in hopes of it not being true; but the truth is out there, it is true, no?
The one with frayed nerves is getting older and slightly more deranged. Eventually, the medicines will become ineffective and she'll die. I wish I could save you from the pain, because I just love you so much.
Money can't turn back time.
You keep saying, I have a lot of money, keep saying I have everything. Listen, I have everything, but it's just not enough. Nothing is enough without you, meray. Sigh.
Ami. Hold me in your arms and let me sleep. Safe from everyone and everything. You're one out of the three safe grounds. Please, move your thin skinned and protruding-veined hands through my hair and put me into an endless slumber. I wouldn't bother you, Ami. I know you're wearied but my one safe ground doesn't live in this house any longer, and my other, My stranger, doesn't love me anymore.
I know, I am pathetic and that disgusts me even more. I loathe myself more, each day.
Why can't you fucking say, you don't want my crap. You don't love me, you don't have to listen to me. You're not my mother.
I know everything there is to know about you, I know things about you that you don't even know, I know. But you don't know me. Even if I would look into yours eyes, screaming everything there is about to know about me, you wouldn't know me. I want to write to you, and somehow I wish it would mean something to you, of all the things that have happened, of all the things that never changed.
If I ever muster up the courage of going so far away from you, that you would long to hear my voice, long to hear of me from someone, anyone.
But you see, it's what my heart has made my mind create this illusion of you missing me. You won't miss me. You won't long to hear my voice, you don't want to listen to me, how is it possible that you would want to hear of me?
I know that if either happens ( you leave or I), you won't yearn for me even a single day. You would live without me, just like another day; but on the flip side, I would go insane, I would suicide and die.
My gorgeous, don't undermine yourself. You're stronger than ever, you're smarter than you could've ever realised.
There's a caterpillar made on paper, stuck on my study desk glass window, she gave it to me. It says,'good luck Michelle.' I keep looking at it, knowing it won't, yet wondering if it'll ever grow into a butterfly.
The African Rain Dancers, dance till it rains; they don't dance for it to rain. Just like, if you don't say something, in hopes of it not being true; but the truth is out there, it is true, no?
The one with frayed nerves is getting older and slightly more deranged. Eventually, the medicines will become ineffective and she'll die. I wish I could save you from the pain, because I just love you so much.
Money can't turn back time.
You keep saying, I have a lot of money, keep saying I have everything. Listen, I have everything, but it's just not enough. Nothing is enough without you, meray. Sigh.
Ami. Hold me in your arms and let me sleep. Safe from everyone and everything. You're one out of the three safe grounds. Please, move your thin skinned and protruding-veined hands through my hair and put me into an endless slumber. I wouldn't bother you, Ami. I know you're wearied but my one safe ground doesn't live in this house any longer, and my other, My stranger, doesn't love me anymore.
Comments
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"I have everything. Listen, I have everything, but it's just not enough. Nothing is enough without you"
I am an episome of pessimism and i.ll always stay that way but you used to be positive you knew how to look for positivity in every freaking screw up. So just settle your self its not like end of the world. Well i can't make sense like the anonymous guy do. Nor i want to frankly i just want you to get over it. I still haven't i wait, i do wait for her and i.ll always will because somehow my stupid hope never dies. But whenever i see her happy, her smiling she having a good time that kills me yes am selfish i can't see her happy maybe but that kills me and makes me belive that i am better off alone. And infact nobody is alone we have so many people around us we just don't see them coz deep inside us we want others to care the same way they did which isn't possible thats why we don't settle for the care which some people do give us. Kiddo just try to find happiness in little things. Just slap yourself hard and see things from a larger perspective......