don't you remember?

Hi. I have to tell you and before I go, I will. At least here, I will. I know I don't have a chance of being blocked or disconnected here in any manner.

I have loved you from the first day to.. Love doesn't have a defining period. It's without boundaries and time. That's what you wrote for me. I am going away, but I am here. You'll know how to find me, if you ever need to.

It's been seven years jaan. I have never hesitated to call you jaan.

She said she wonders how it feels. So I told her.
I told her it felt like you want to blame something on someone because you dont know where you went wrong. But you know where you went wrong. But you still want to blame it on something. But for me, being who I am, it's interfering with the rules of God. Who to love and how to love. And how much.
You're still looking for someone to blame. And the one you want to blame, can't even say hi to you when  you are standing less than ten feet in front of them. Even with the blaming you want to love them. And the one you really love, you don't say a thing to them because you want them to be happy.

Don't you miss me for some insane reason anymore?


UmHm says (4:31 PM):
shortttyyyy River. - Wants to go out. says (4:31 PM):
heyaa UmHm says (4:31 PM):
i saw your pics River. - Wants to go out. says (4:31 PM):
kidher ho? hehe UmHm says (4:31 PM):
and you are absolutely heartstoppingly beautiful i'm in university River. - Wants to go out. says (4:32 PM):
i sent nice pichurs UmHm says (4:32 PM):
 you're beautiful please dont argue with me i'm not well and i feel like i could curl up and die

UmHm says (4:32 PM):
i said. beautiful. heartstoppingly so. River. - Wants to go out. says (4:32 PM):
okay River. - Wants to go out. says (4:33 PM):
jaan whats wrong? i just got home from uni UmHm says (4:33 PM):
buss exhausted sick and tired etc etc River. - Wants to go out. says (4:33 PM):
havent you slept River. - Wants to go out. says (4:34 PM):
tell me exactly UmHm says (4:34 PM):
not to worry =] i'll be okay River. - Wants to go out. says (4:34 PM):
what you're feeling i ares doctor. UmHm says (4:34 PM):
like i'm empty hollow from the inside out like if i have to keep going like this much longer i'll fall apart at the seams like an empty eggshell cracking in half UmHm says (4:35 PM):
hey i like tha tline i'ma use it on my blog haha so yes River. - Wants to go out. says (4:35 PM):
okay wait. but UmHm says (4:35 PM):
give me a prescription for that River. - Wants to go out. says (4:35 PM):
talk to me has it been like that since morning? UmHm says (4:35 PM):
since yesterday River. - Wants to go out. says (4:35 PM):
last night? UmHm says (4:36 PM):
since parsun River. - Wants to go out. says (4:36 PM):
ajao meray pass *hug* UmHm says (4:36 PM):
that's my prescription alright my only cure probably. but that too unavailable. lol. so i shall be incurable. River. - Wants to go out. says (4:36 PM):
no UmHm says (4:36 PM):
heard friend by everlast? UmHm says (4:37 PM):
suna River. - Wants to go out. says (4:37 PM):
you UmHm says (4:37 PM):
shhh River. - Wants to go out. says (4:37 PM):
will be cured UmHm says (4:37 PM):
i gotta go River. - Wants to go out. says (4:37 PM):
nahi UmHm says (4:37 PM):
i'll talk to you later River. - Wants to go out. says (4:37 PM):
meray theek UmHm says (4:37 PM):
shhhh naaaa River. - Wants to go out. says (4:37 PM):
okay just keep hugging yes? shud i msg you? UmHm says (4:38 PM):
dont i'll beo kay i love you River. - Wants to go out. says (4:38 PM):
I love you more. UmHm says (4:38 PM):
tc my beautiful girl my god i wish you were with me River. - Wants to go out. says (4:38 PM):
okay then im going to warm ur hand mai ajaoun? UmHm says (4:38 PM):
tc gtg hugs River. - Wants to go out. says (4:38 PM):
hugs hugs HUG River. - Wants to go out. said (4:39 PM):
i am with you jaan

Kash tehr jatay.


But don't you know, don't you know. I am always with you. This is making me so sad. Now you're so far away. Today I feel like I could curl up and die.
I am going away. I am. I don't want to miss the slightest chance I get. I have to I have to. If I want to keep my insanity intact.
You said, never look back. I can't move forward.

You said, 'the words your own mind comes up with are truth michelle, and when the whole fucking world will fall apart, just KNOWING the truth even if its ugly n harsh and if its the REASON ur world fell apart, even then, knowing it will give u the strength to hold urself together and rebuild.'

It doesn't.

Do you remember? Deep inside of you? I will always be there.

Hey. Do you miss me? I hear you say you do but not the way I am missing you.
Kiss the rain?

You are not coming back, you never are. You won't linger around. I love that song. Linger.
Okay.
Take care. If you turn around, don't forget me. Remember the message, the last message I sent. And be good.

Khuda Hafiz.